CLAP-LAUGHER sms
(noun)
Person (some might say buffoon) who claps automatically with his hands every time he laughs. Behavioral tic endemic to the Dumb community, and to some extent also the Fat community.
BENEFIT OF THE DEADsms
(noun phrase)
Attributing attitudes to the dead that distort how the deceased would have actually felt, to the advantage of the living person who is talking. Examples: 1. “I’m going to give myself the benefit of the dead, and say: I know Grandma would want me to steal this money from the company she started. She would be okay with it.” 2. “I know my late husband would want me to move on with my life by throwing away all the pictures I have of him. He would give me the benefit of the dead.”
CELLFINGER sms
(noun)
The erect index finger placed on the top portion of a cell phone while it is up to your ear. Males always do this (see illustration A), whether the cell phone is a flip phone and needs the propping up or not. Women, not so much (see illustration B). I’m curious how we went from the five-finger-and-thumb wrap-around grasp on old phone receivers (see illustration C) to the dainty but phallic one-finger position for cells.
A
B
C