The Shrake-tionary

WINDOW-GRANDMA ^sms

(noun)

1. The little old ladies in certain tight-knit ethnic communities who sit all day (and sometimes night, if they can’t sleep) in their window guarding their street against interlopers. They have a phone right next to them with 911 on speed-dial. Syn.: finestra-nonna ^sms.

FACEBOYCOTT ^sms

(noun)

1. Refusal to join FaceSpace, FaceUnion, Facebook, or one of the faceplaces. 2. Once one has called off the Faceboycott and become a Facemember, refusal to do something a Facesomeone wants you to do. E.g. become friends with someone who wants to be your friend, help out a friend by posting a link to their website on your wall, etc.

AGHASTISHNESS ^sms

(noun)

1. The quality of being not completely aghast, just “aghastish.” Rel.: aghasty; aghastish (adj.).

McMETONYM ^sms

(noun)

The substitution of the name of a fast-food restaurant for its food product(s), with “a.” E.g.: “We were so hungry we had to stop off and have a McDonald’s.” “I haven’t had a Wendy’s in a long time.” “I have a taste for a Chipotle right now.”

A metonym is a linguistic term for when a thing is not called by its own name, but by the name of something larger that’s associated with it or that it’s a part of, i.e. “Washington” stands in for “the federal government and our national political leaders.” Another example of McMetonym would be “a Ford” for “a car made by the Ford Motor Company,” etc.

FACEOSOPHY ^sms

(noun: pronounced “face ah so fee”)

Contraction of “Facebook philosophy.” In other words, what you use Facebook for or how you feel it should be used. E.g.: “My Faceosophy is simple: I want to get to 5,000 friends, and I don’t care who they are.” or “I’m an old AOL’er, so my Faceosophy is that Facebook is for playing dumb games and indiscriminately adding ‘apps’ then inviting all 170 of my friends to do every single thing I do, too. I’m basically white trash.”

IN-CAR BAD SONG HYPNOSIS ^sms

(compound noun)

Temporary trance-like state while driving, thought to be induced by the presence of a bad song on the car radio. The victim usually comes out of this episode on his/her own, with a sudden startled realization that he or she was last aware of a good song being on, and an inability to figure out how this unacceptable song was allowed to play for as long as it was.

BIRTHWRONG ^sms

(noun)

1. Something bad you inherited genetically or materially. Antonym: birthright.