The Shrake-tionary

LAXACCINO ^sms

(noun)

A more expensive, higher-class version of Crappa Joe, i.e., a coffee drink used to speed the arrival of Nature’s Call.

SHRAXIM ^sms

(noun)

A maxim/aphorism originating with SM Shrake. Examples.

JOYBEAN

(noun)

1. Antidepressant pill. Note: This word already exists (hence no Shrakemark), but has heretofore only been used to describe amphetamines. Let’s use it for the much more common drug that didn’t exist when this was made up.

CRAPPA JOE ^sms

(noun)

A cup of coffee that you drink in order to expedite nature’s business.

WRONGAGERY ^sms

(noun)

1. A collection of wrongages, i.e. incorrect beliefs, ideas, statements. Example: “His speech was just a mass of intense wrongagery. He gets every name wrong, he misquotes everyone, and he exercises his right to his own facts way too much.” 2. The intentional or accidental practice of getting things wrong.

BIBLICOOL ^sms

(adjective)

1. The special state of grace that comes from reading the Bible daily but still being cool to earthly eyes. 2. Something that is or would have been cool with the writers of the Bible, such as polygamy.

NOTE: Google provides proof that a few other people have used this word in history, but I believe they used it by accident, to wit, mistranscribing the phonic sound of the word, as used by people like this. Furthermore, there is no existing definition of the word. You define it first, you own it. One California couple trademarked it for a brand name, but the trademark ran out in 2007. You snooze, you lose, suckers! Shrakemarked!

STACKNE ^sms

(noun)

Also: stacne ^sms

Acne on your boobs.

ERRPITHET ^sms

(noun)

An inappropriate/ill-fitting epithet (insulting name). E.g., 1.) Actor Charlie Sheen calling his very caucasian ex-wife Denise Richards a “n*gger”; 2.) Calling a nice librarian lady an “asshole” because she can’t find the book you’re looking for; 3.) Calling a conservative 70-year-old man, a retiree who worked for Ford for 40 years, has been faithfully married to the same woman for 50 years, with 4 children and 12+ grandchildren, in other words whose heterosexual bona fides are well established, a “f*ggot.”

STEPFRIEND ^sms

(noun)

1. Friend of a friend, i.e., one you didn’t choose for yourself.

TITPROOF ^sms

(adjective)

1.) Not available to the allures of a female bosom that is being used to entice. E.g.: “I showed my rack to the maitre d’ but he said it would still be an hour wait. I guess he’s titproof.” 2. Gay.